UM 01.13 Strengths Offender


Most of us are known all across UM for talents and skills that we have honed over decades. Many of our strengths are direct outcomes of childhood wounds. We're experts at our top coping mechanisms, with tens of thousands of hours practice. Our NORMAL offends other people because it TRUMPS the normal level for those behaviors and skills. We usually do not intend to offend others, but we are frequently unaware, or do not understand why we do what we do (WWDWWD). Once we are aware, and slow down to understand, we can shift out internal story-telling. This drops the noise, increases our patience, and reduces the number of times we offend our closest friends around UM, and our family.

"How would you feel if your top strengths regularly offend others? The CliftonStrengths Assessment points the way to recovery, but you'll not find the pathway from Gallop. In this episode, you will learn to recognize, and slay strengths that offend others, while keeping your value in the market, with your partner, family and peers."

"...let's talk about 'strengths offender' - the thing that makes you-you, that strength you have persevered to develop, to create your identity, to find some anchor of who you are known as, that very thing that gives you value in the market. Your strength! How to find it, and then how to slay it! Because, you see, it turns out that your strength is actually a coping mechanism from your childhood wounds."

"And here comes the sheriff's helicopter!"

What an excellent example of STRENGTH and OFFENSIVE NOISE! "I took an assessment over a decade ago, called the Clifton Strengths Finder Assessment. It essentially records your reactive behavior. You know, the first and fastest answer for a whole series of questions."

"The reason you want to take the assessment is not because you don't know what your strength is. It's just to help you affirm it, and sort of dial it into some words that give you distinction about it. The reason why it's so important to know your strengths is not for you. It's for everyone around you! Because, it's how you offend everyone around you. The very thing that , bla bla bla bla bla, building more websites than any other human that I know of. Those things, those accomplish, they're what I consider normal. That's highly unusua"

"Your strengths will also set the bar so high for everyone around you that that's how you offend everyone! And your normal is way above everybody else's! So it's not what we find out about ourselves, our strengths. It's what we don't know. It's that scotoma about our strengths. It's that our strengths are exactly how we wear other people out, how we wound them! It's how I get that glazed look over everyone when I tart start tarking..start tarking..talking..oh, that's an Asperger moment!"

Key Points

  • Strengths are rewarded in the marketplace
  • Our strengths are NORMAL to us - NOT so with others
  • Our strengths are coping mechanisms - from childhood wounds
  • Our strengths offend others because they are overwhelming to others
  • Other's strengths offend us - we can gain insight into others when we're being offended

The unfortunate part of knowing your strengths is that you're gonna start seeing them emerge all the time. They will be your obstacles, the challenges, the very things that frustrate the dickens out of you. For me, I want to get things done in less time then that's gonna take, to get them done. I want to go further, higher, do more, get more, because that's where-in my childhood-where I was affirmed to have value.


  1. Take the Clifton Strengths Assessment
  2. Discern when you are offending others with your top strengths
  3. Discipline yourself to throttle your strengths
  4. Be patient and curious with others strengths that offend you
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Challenge Your Personal Everest

The greatest expedition you will ever undertake is the journey to self-understanding, as the prize is not in discovering new lands, but in seeing with new eyes. I invite you on that journey!